A Mother's Tears

     Tonight has been a difficult night for me.  We took the oldest son to Nashville and dropped him off at the hotel that he has to stay at before he goes to the MEPS one last time.  Tomorrow he goes to fill out the last of the paperwork, swear in one last time then he boards the plane for Great Lakes, Ill. for 8 weeks of Naval Basic Training.  Part of me is so proud of him I could burst but the Mommy in me (you know the one, she still sees her children as the 3 and 6 year olds they once were) is crying nonstop.  I have spells where I have broke down and cried for 2 or 3 minutes then I manage to pull myself back together for a short time then I will see something of his or just think of him and I start crying again (like right now.).  I had to cry on the youngest for a few minutes earlier.  I told him that I was gonna be a basket case when he leaves. 
     For as much as they can get on your nerves you love them with all of your heart.  You want to see them succeed in everything they do but you still want to hold them close and protect them as though they were still that little infant cradled in your arms so many years ago.  And yeah, sure, six months ago I was ready to bounce him out on his ear.  But deep down I really didn't want him to leave then.  And I also know that in 8 weeks I will be there watching him graduate from Basic and might even get to bring him home for awhile.  But right now that seems like it is so far away.
      I wish you sweet dreams tonight Bugger Bear.  You know I love you with all of my heart. 

Almost Time

     Spook Sister came called the other day.  Checking to see if I was still alive.  Now she believes me when I say that during Hockey Season you might as well forget about seeing me unless you are at a game with me.  But sadly the season is almost over (if we don't make it to the playoffs that is).  Of course this season ending is going to be really bittersweet for me.  My oldest son is joining the Navy.  We take him to Nashville Monday evening.  He has one more visit to the MEPS then he flys out for basic training on Tuesday afternoon.  I have already had a few teary eyed moments but no real break down as of yet. The drive home Monday night should prove interesting. 
     But as I said Spook Sister called to check on me and gently remind me that Halloween is only 6 short months away. (I know it is longer than that but we set up early)  I have sort of thought about the yard but have not really given it much more than a passing thought.  I do know that I want to change it up this year though.  The cemetery is getting rather old.  But for now I am wrapped up in hockey and my son leaving.